"If my father was coldly cruel, my mom and older sister were, at first, lovingly warm. When I was little, I stayed glued to my mom's side. My sister was my best friend. They told me life was dangerous, that the only way to stop worrying about something was to imagine the worst so you would be prepared. (I worried more.) But then, by third grade, I wanted more independence, to have my own thoughts, to wear the clothes I liked."
"I saw it as freedom. My mom saw abandonment and lashed out with attacks. No one liked me because I was ugly, she snapped. I was lazy and selfish. My sister quick-changed toward me, too. We used to spend hours happily immersed in writing stories together, but when I began writing on my own, she tore apart my room to find my work, and then yelled that it was my own damn fault that these new stories were stupid junk."
A friend recognized intense anxiety but also described a unique, hummingbird-like energy. Childhood home life cycled between warmth and rage, producing instability and persistent worry. A cruel father contrasted with a mother and sister who initially offered comfort but later lashed out when independence emerged. Caregivers taught imagining worst-case scenarios for protection, increasing vigilance and fear. Sibling betrayal included tearing apart a room and verbal attacks about new stories, prompting withdrawal and self-silencing to avoid emotional shocks. The pattern of unpredictability produced bafflement, confusion, and anxiety that continued into college and relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]