"My parents usually weren't in the same house at the same time, though they occasionally made an exception for holidays. We might have dinner, followed by arguments or passive aggressive comments about who didn't help whom prepare and clean up. I longed for the traditions that others had with their families: making hot chocolate, stringing popcorn-such random, small things, but so meaningful when done together as a family."
"I was on my own, aware I was different but holding on to that secret with a death grip lest I be outed and seen for who I really was. This is where the denial and gaslighting set in. As I grew into an opinionated teenager, I began to question the events taking place around me. Still, I put myself under intense internal pressure to keep the narrative of normalcy afloat:"
Fear of being different keeps survivors from acknowledging family dysfunction and perpetuates denial. Family shapes belonging, and admitting dysfunction threatens identity, credibility, and social acceptance. Survivors may hide secrets to avoid being outed, leading to internal pressure, gaslighting, and self-blame. Questioning events can trigger fear that acknowledging problems means personal failure. Disclosure carries risks of misunderstanding and revictimization by others who do not grasp boundaries or context. Recognizing fear's role in silence can enable the first steps toward healing by validating experiences, reducing self-blame, and creating safer pathways to seek support and build healthier relational patterns.
Read at Psychology Today
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