"I'm 37 and I don't think I've ever felt lonelier in my life than I have for the past 10 years or so. I used to think something was wrong with me or that I was unlikable in some way, but that wasn't the case. I feel a big reason is that I'm single and everyone is doing their own thing, whether it's their career, getting married, or trying to figure themselves out. I just know something is off, and I haven't quite figured out how to fix it. It's like a massive life transition."
"I think social media allows people to maintain someone in their life without any effort, and it makes them lose touch without intending to. You're seeing their posts, clicking the like button, and maybe even commenting sometimes, so the friendship seems like it's still active - but it's easier to forget you haven't actually had a real conversation with that person in years. People also seem less tolerant of friendships requiring effort. They want some frictionless thing where they can call someone up when they feel social, or have someone invite them to things (but are under no pressure to show up), but otherwise want them to keep their distance and not inconvenience them. Good friendships are sometimes messy and a little work, but everyone is tired and has limited bandwidth."
Adults in their 30s and 40s report intensifying loneliness over the past decade. Single status, divergent life paths, and major life transitions exacerbate isolation. Social media preserves superficial ties and reduces impetus for real conversations. Good friendships need effort but people are exhausted and have limited bandwidth. Declining third spaces and fragmenting communities remove casual, low-effort social encounters. Many expect frictionless friendships that allow optional participation, further eroding sustained commitment. The result is a cultural, not merely personal, loneliness shaped by work, technology, and shifting social structures.
Read at BuzzFeed
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