The Unspoken Grief of Children Who Lose a Parent

"Each year, two to three million children under 18 in the United States lose one or both parents. The loss of any important person in a child's life, whether a parent, grandparent, sibling, or other close relative or caregiver, constitutes a profound loss and leaves a void that is both physical and psychological. The death of a parent may be the most stressful event a child can experience, given that parents are at the center of children's worlds, especially during early and middle childhood."

"If there is someone to hold children, physically and figuratively, as they reel from an incomprehensible loss, they are able to allow themselves the full range of their sadness, anger, fear, and hurt. They can be helped to understand and face the permanency of death. As the inevitable changes of life without that person unfold, caring and attentive adults can help them find reassurance and acceptance, a gradual lessening of the painful missing, and eventually the ability to find joy in a reorganized world."

Each year two to three million children under 18 in the United States lose one or both parents. The death of an important person in a child's life creates a profound physical and psychological void. Parental death ranks among the most stressful events because parents occupy the center of children's worlds. Children require adult help to manage practical, physical, and emotional aftershocks, yet surviving adults often struggle with their own grief and new responsibilities. When children receive steady, caring support they can express emotions, grasp the permanence of death, find reassurance and acceptance, and eventually regain the capacity for joy. Without such support, children may turn to drugs or seek risky surrogate attachments; seven of twenty former juvenile offenders lost a parent early and lacked adult support.

Read at Psychology Today