Are You Missing Out on Life's Joys?

"We generally don't like to feel uncomfortable, so our minds use various defense mechanisms to protect us from discomfort. By protecting ourselves from negative emotions, we may also be limiting ourselves from positive emotions. Think of a number line where zero is the midpoint. Positive numbers are positive feelings and the higher the number, the more intense the emotion. Negative numbers are negative feelings, that become more intense as the number increases. It's possible that we can only go as far in one direction as we can go in the other one. Therefore, if you block yourself from feeling negative feelings, you prevent yourself from experiencing the happiness of positive emotions."

"Would you describe yourself as "comfortable"? This happens to a lot of people for various reasons. At times, this can be physiological, where supplements or medication can help. In many cases, this can be more of a processing or perspective issue. We generally don't like to feel uncomfortable, so our minds use various defense mechanisms to protect us from discomfort."

"I realized this in my early twenties as I didn't like the idea of crying. Being male and playing sports, I bought into the idea that crying was weak in some way, so I blocked myself from crying. To prevent from crying, I blocked myself from experiencing negative emotions. I didn't realize that I was also blocking myself from positive emotions. As a result, I was close to the midpoint of the emotional continuum. I was safe from feeling negative emotions, but I was also numb to positive ones."

"I decided I didn't want to be numb to feeling positive and happy emotions, so I decided to break through the barrier by allowing myself to cry. It wasn't that easy since I was used to avoiding it. I thought of sad things and watched sad movies. I also talked about it with my wife"

Many people feel “okay” but not great due to physiological factors like supplements or medication, or due to processing and perspective patterns. Discomfort avoidance can lead to defense mechanisms that protect against negative emotions. Blocking negative feelings can also limit access to positive emotions. An emotional continuum can be viewed as a number line with negative feelings on one side and positive feelings on the other, where intensity increases farther from the midpoint. If movement in one direction is blocked, movement in the other direction may also be restricted. Avoiding crying can prevent negative emotions and also reduce positive emotional range, leading to numbness. Allowing crying can help restore access to happiness.

Read at Psychology Today