Can You Handle the Truth About Your Own Self-Deception?

"Did you ever see that riveting scene in the film A Few Good Men where Jack Nicholson says the iconic line, "You can't handle the truth!" How interesting it is that the very idea of truth seems to be under attack nowadays. As much as we all decry fake news and say we want the truth, we neglect one salient fact: We rarely tell ourselves the truth about ourselves!"

"That's right, we spin a plethora of stories, little white lies, confabulations, narratives, or whatever you want to call them, that are often incongruent with who we really are. And when we do that, we are not being authentic. Why do we make up these stories? Usually, because either consciously or unconsciously, we want to protect a certain narrative or image and project it to others. Let me share a couple of examples, and then examine how mindfulness can show you the truth..."

"Over a million students attending high school were asked how good they were at getting along with others. The survey's findings concluded, "all students thought they were above average in their ability to get along with others...and 25% thought they were in the top 1%. Now, you might counter, "Yes, but those are immature high school students. Surely, more mature persons wouldn't feel that way." That brings us to a second survey."

Self-deception is common and often involves fabricating narratives, white lies, and confabulations that conflict with true identity. People create stories to protect a preferred image and to project that image to others, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. Large surveys show widespread overestimation of interpersonal and professional abilities among students and university professors. These distortions undermine authenticity and self-knowledge. A dedicated mindfulness practice, beginning with bodily awareness and acceptance of the whole self, offers a method to reveal personal truths, reduce self-deceptive patterns, and foster greater authenticity. Mindfulness practice can also improve emotional regulation and well-being.

Read at Psychology Today