"As I guide parents through the detective work in finding the root cause of the unwanted behavior, almost always the key culprit is a lack of limits. The kids who need limits the most are those who make it hardest for their parents to set. These limits can set off reactions: "It's your sister's turn to sit next to me at dinner." "We're not going to a restaurant for dinner, we're eating at home.""
"The Problem Roberta shared: "I'm so afraid I'm raising an entitled child, and I don't know what to do. Here's a good example: I was trying to have a very important call with my very ill father's caregivers. Maeve followed me when I tried to find a quiet place to do the call. After pleading, even bribing her to give me space, I totally lost it.""
Lack of consistent limits frequently causes children to develop entitlement. Clear boundaries teach children they cannot always have what they want and that others’ needs matter. Attempts to set limits often provoke vehement protests, pleading, bribery, or power struggles that can lead parents to cave or escalate. Caving or escalating reinforces demanding behavior and concentrates family attention on the child. Effective limit-setting requires tolerating protests and guilt trips while maintaining consistent rules. Consistent, loving limits help children learn to manage disappointment, respect others, and develop self-regulation.
Read at Psychology Today
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