I'm 66 and I have noticed that when my adult children visit, they are constantly half-present - answering texts, glancing at phones, taking calls in the other room - and I have stopped pretending it doesn't hurt, because I understand that I am no longer the most pressing thing in their day, and I have become the background of a visit they are technically performing while their actual attention is elsewhere - Silicon Canals

"The problem isn't that my kids are on their phones when they visit. The problem is pretending it's about the phones. The phones are just the prop. The real thing is that I've slid down their priority list, and we're all polite enough not to mention it."

"I've started calling it the half-visit. They check the box of seeing Dad, but they're not really present. It's like they're performing the role of dutiful children while their real life happens on that little screen."

"When I visited my parents, I visited my parents. The job could wait an hour. When did I become optional?"

"There was a time when I was the main event in my kids' lives. They'd run to the door when I got home from work. They wanted my attention more than anything. Now I'm background noise."

Visits have transformed from meaningful interactions to half-hearted engagements where children are physically present but mentally absent. The focus has shifted to phones and responsibilities, leading to a lack of genuine connection. The author reflects on how visits used to involve undistracted time together, contrasting it with the current state where children check off the box of visiting while their attention is elsewhere. This shift has left the author feeling like an optional part of their children's lives, rather than a priority.

Read at Silicon Canals