"There's a lot of crying, a lot of "stay with me," a lot of clinging. There's a lot of "Mama, whatcha doing?" and a lot of "Can I come with you?" to every move I make. There's a lot of pouting, a lot of big reactions, a lot of anger they can't explain. There's a lot of worrying, a lot of nervousness, a lot of trying new things."
"Sometimes my tween comes up to me while I'm cooking dinner, and leans her body against mine. Her hip almost meets mine now, but she can still rest her head against my shoulder. "What's up?" I ask, stirring taco meat. "Nothing," she mumbles. "Huggy?""
"She sits against me as we read the stories her little sisters pick out. She plays Sims on her own computer, but sits on the couch with all of us. She asks me for a million snacks and eats every last bite. She gets emotional, crying before she goes to school some mornings because she says she's going to miss me."
The tween years, typically starting around age 11, bring significant physical and emotional changes alongside unexpected behavioral regressions. While hormonal shifts and identity formation are anticipated, the intensity of emotional neediness mirrors toddler-like behaviors: excessive crying, constant requests for physical proximity, difficulty explaining emotions, and resistance to independence. Tweens simultaneously grow physically and intellectually while seeking reassurance, comfort, and parental presence. They display contradictory behaviors—wanting autonomy yet clinging to parents, appearing mature yet regressing emotionally. This period involves increased worry, nervousness, and big reactions to minor situations. Parents experience their growing children still needing comfort, physical affection, and constant companionship despite their developing independence and near-adult physical stature.
Read at Scary Mommy
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