"My daughter is about to turn 6. Last year we invited her whole preschool class, and this year we invited her whole kindergarten class. When parents text to let me know their child is attending, they will often ask what my kid likes or what she might want as a present. I feel a twinge of guilt whenever I reply at face value."
"But texting back that gifts aren't expected feels odd, because I never put that on the invitation. If I were to go to a kid's birthday party without a present, and see that most everyone else gave a present, then I'd feel bad! So how much am I overthinking it, and is it bad manners to just answer the question without giving any kind of qualifier to the parent that they don't have to bring a gift if it's a hardship? -Neurotic Hostess"
A parent invited an entire preschool and kindergarten class and receives texts from other parents asking what the child likes or might want as a present. The inviting parent feels guilty making gift expectations explicit and finds it awkward to text that gifts aren't expected when the invitation did not state that. The parent worries about social awkwardness if they attended another child's party without a gift while most others brought presents. Many parents in school circles tend to be relaxed about giving gifts, and hosts generally do not monitor who brings presents, so the anxiety may be unnecessary.
Read at Slate Magazine
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