"It was what I like to call a "mutual friend selfie," a small, intimate genre of social gesture. The premise is simple: two people you know and like meet in person and send you photographic evidence of their connection. And it's not for Instagram; it's just for you. There is something delightful about receiving this kind of photo. You're not in it, but you're the reason it exists."
"Earlier this summer, I got a WhatsApp message with a photo of two professor friends smiling at the camera, sitting at what looked like a conference table: "Miss you! Hi from (near) Istanbul!" The sight of their happy faces together sparked in me a little frisson of joy. The photo was sent without much explanation, but none was needed. They both work in the Toronto area, and over the years, I've told each of them that they really need to meet the other."
Mutual friend selfies are photographs sent by two acquaintances meeting in person, created specifically for a third person to show their connection. These photos are private and not intended for public platforms like Instagram. They elicit small frissons of joy and signal ambient affection, proof of in-person meetings, and satisfaction that a long-anticipated connection finally occurred. Examples include professor colleagues meeting at an international conference and parents reconnecting at a school concert. Such images function as subtle social engineering, a tiny, joyful form of anti-social media that emphasizes intimate networks over performative visibility.
Read at The Walrus
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