The most passive aggressive phrases at work don't sound cruel on the surface, they can actually sound polite - "friendly reminder," "per my last email," "for future reference," "as you no doubt are aware" - and the damage isn't in the words, it's in the smile they're wrapped in that makes you feel insane for being bothered - Silicon Canals

"When a 2022 survey by the language platform Preply asked 1,264 Americans which phrases they consider the most passive-aggressive at work, the results read like a greatest hits of corporate Slack. Topping the list: “As you no doubt are aware...” Followed by “For future reference,” “Friendly reminder,” “CC'ing [my boss] for visibility,” and the all-time classic, “Per my last email.”"

"The words are soft. The smiley face might even be there. But you know, somehow, in your bones, that you've just been told off. And if you mention it to anyone, you sound paranoid. That gap is the whole game. The phrase isn't cruel on the surface. It's wrapped in the language of professionalism, of niceness, of just-checking-in. The discomfort lands inside you, with no clean place to put it. You can't reasonably complain about a “friendly reminder.” You can only stew."

"We can't help but think about what these phrases share. They're all technically courteous. None of them include an insult. And yet anyone who has worked in an office, or really any setting where adults must coordinate over text, recognizes the precise sting of receiving one. “As you no doubt are aware” is doing the most work. It implies you should know something. It also implies the sender knows you don't. The phrase performs respect while delivering condescension."

"“Per my last email” does something similar. It functions as a paper trail. The translation is roughly: I already told you this, and now I am telling you again, and I am also documenting that I told you. Dr. Melissa Baese-Berk, a linguistics professor cited in the Preply piece, made a point that's worth sitting with: “terms that a receiver may view as passive aggressive may be attempts at po"

A survey of Americans identified common passive-aggressive phrases used at work, including “As you no doubt are aware...,” “For future reference,” “Friendly reminder,” “CC’ing [my boss] for visibility,” and “Per my last email.” These phrases appear courteous and sometimes even friendly, but they create discomfort because the message implies the recipient is at fault or being corrected. The language often signals that the sender already knows the recipient’s shortcomings, while also establishing a record or escalation path. The sting comes from the mismatch between surface politeness and the underlying reprimand, leaving recipients with no clear way to object.

Read at Silicon Canals