The people who answer every question with a question of their own aren't deflecting. They learned that whoever holds the next question holds the floor, and holding the floor was the only way to stay safe in conversations that used to turn on them - Silicon Canals

"The behavior isn't strategic in the way it looks. It's protective in a way that's older than the person doing it. For people who grew up in households where being the subject of conversation was dangerous, the floor stops being neutral territory. It becomes the place where things happen to you."

"Conversations have a structure most of us never think about. Whoever asks the next question controls the direction. Whoever answers becomes the subject. The asker holds the floor; the answerer is on it."

"When any of the three needs—trust, safety, and control—is repeatedly disrupted in childhood, the nervous system builds adaptations that try to restore them, often through behaviors the person may not consciously recognize."

Conversations typically involve a natural back-and-forth exchange, but some individuals, particularly those from traumatic backgrounds, may avoid being the subject. This behavior is not strategic but protective, stemming from experiences where answering questions led to negative outcomes. The need to maintain control and avoid vulnerability drives them to keep asking questions. Research indicates that disruptions in trust, safety, and control during childhood lead to adaptations in behavior, influencing how individuals engage in conversations throughout their lives.

Read at Silicon Canals