"Growing up in Melbourne, our house ran on practicality and logic. Family dinners were debates about politics and ideas, not expressions of warmth. A pat on the back for good grades? That was about as affectionate as it got."
"When affection wasn't part of your emotional vocabulary growing up, your brain literally doesn't develop the neural pathways to process it smoothly. It's like someone speaking to you in a language you never learned."
"Now, with a baby daughter who reaches for me constantly, wanting cuddles and comfort, I'm learning what I should have learned thirty years ago. Some days, receiving her pure, uncomplicated love feels like trying to catch water with closed fists."
Growing up in a practical and logical household, emotional warmth was absent, leading to difficulties in physical affection. Despite academic achievements and mindfulness practices, the author struggled with emotional connections. Meeting a Vietnamese wife introduced a culture of affection, highlighting the author's rigid emotional responses. With a daughter seeking comfort, the author confronts the challenge of receiving love. The lack of early affection created an invisible wall, hindering the ability to process emotional connections and affection fluently.
Read at Silicon Canals
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