"Now my in-laws want to travel with us! My husband is enthusiastic because it will lower the cost. I am very hurt that I wasn't even consulted. I didn't know until I overheard them talking about splitting costs on the Hawaii trip. Abby, I was not planning a 25th anniversary as a foursome. My husband is calling me a sourpuss for not jumping on board with the plan. In my mind, it's supposed to be an anniversary, not a couples retreat. Am I wrong?"
"DEAR CROWDED: You are not in the wrong. That your husband and in-laws would alter the plans for your 25th anniversary without consulting you is disrespectful. You should have been consulted. That he has now resorted to name-calling because you are upset is out of line. If you feel you won't be happy celebrating this milestone with them, tell your sister-in-law this was sprung on you with no preparation, which you feel was wrong, and you are not happy about it."
A couple considered Hawaii for their 25th anniversary. The husband asked his brother and sister-in-law about suggestions and proposed a shared trip without consulting his wife. The wife overheard cost-splitting plans, felt hurt, and objected because she expected a private anniversary. The recommended response is to tell the sister-in-law the invitation was sprung on her, express unhappiness, and decide whether to travel as a group or stay home. A second case involves a father who collects antiques giving a book claimed to be a valuable first edition that is actually a later run missing the title page, leading the recipient to suspect deliberate misrepresentation.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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