"About five years ago, before he died, my father arranged to give a large amount of money each month to an ill sibling. This sibling and his wife have never been good with money. But they not only have a house that is twice the cost of mine, they sent their son to an expensive out-of-state university, whereas mine have gone to in-state schools. The sibling's son has now graduated college, and my wife has what is usually a terminal disease."
"Between what the sibling is getting and his wife's income, they make more than we do. My father left no indication of his desires with regards to this arrangement. My mom says she is unhappy with the arrangement, but is afraid of confrontation. My wife and I do her taxes, insurance, take care of her house, and pick up the pieces after she gets scammed. This is becoming really hard to swallow."
"If your father didn't leave a will or any formal instructions, this "arrangement" is in your mother's hands. Clearly, he intended to help your sibling during his illness, but if their circumstances have changed - your sibling earns more than you, their son graduated, your own wife is facing a serious illness - it's hard to say what your father might have wanted to do."
A father began giving a large monthly payment to an ill sibling several years ago. The sibling and spouse have poor money habits but live in a more expensive house and funded an out-of-state college. The sibling's son has graduated, while the writer's spouse faces a likely terminal illness. The father left no formal instructions, placing the arrangement under the mother's control, though she fears confrontation. The writer and spouse manage the mother's taxes, insurance, home care, and scams and feel resentful. A family meeting is advised so the mother can reconsider how support is handled.
Read at Slate Magazine
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