Help! We Hung My Wife's Painting Over the Mantel. I'm Mortified by What It Resembles.
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Help! We Hung My Wife's Painting Over the Mantel. I'm Mortified by What It Resembles.
"Repeat. Your wife is not asking you to drive around with her human anatomy-resembling art plastered to your back windshield for the world to see. This is your home! The reaction of your family-whispering, "Are you aware of the resemblance?" not screaming, "Oh my god, there's a butthole over the fireplace!"-actually proves that her artistic intention was clear. It's a flower with some unfortunate qualities. Nobody actually thinks you have pornography hanging above the mantel."
"Now you also say you don't enjoy the painting. But would you rather deal with a "humongous butthole" that is clearly meant to be a chrysanthemum for the rest of your life (or more realistically, until she paints something she's even prouder of), or the generic, neutral hotel lobby art you're going to have if you get divorced and have to furnish a bachelor pad? OK, I know, I know-I'm being too dramatic."
Use deep breathing to calm immediate discomfort. The painting is clearly intended as a chrysanthemum despite an unfortunate visual resemblance. Family whispers indicate recognition of intent rather than moral panic. Choose to be supportive of a spouse's artistic expression rather than insisting on removal. Consider the long-term relational cost of forcing a change versus living with mild annoyance. Seek gentle compromises such as relocating or rotating artwork to less prominent spaces. Prioritize kindness and constructive communication to preserve intimacy while addressing genuine objections. Compliment technical skill and discuss display preferences calmly, offering alternatives that honor the artist's achievement while reducing daily discomfort.
Read at Slate Magazine
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