
"While I conveyed casual indifference in the days leading up to their date, my body was churning with jealousy. I tried to unpack exactly what was driving this - was I jealous that Harper had a crush on Lex? That Lex might have a crush on Harper? That I might lose one or both of them to each other? My body raged with increasing discomfort as Thursday night's date turned into Friday morning with no word from my girlfriend."
"When the spectacularly sincere theater major across the dinner table excitedly shared his philosophies around pursuing multiple relationships and the inherent abundance of love, I felt as if a door inside of me had unlocked. Although unfamiliar, I was immediately drawn to a more expansive way of loving, one rooted in honesty and intentionality. I had always felt like monogamy had been a kind of performance - a show of commitment and exclusive emotions that felt forced and restrictive."
A person in an open relationship experiences intense jealousy when their girlfriend Harper develops a crush on Lex, a new friend in their social circle. Despite intellectually understanding the principles of ethical non-monogamy and having chosen this relationship structure, the narrator struggles with panic and discomfort when Harper goes on a date with Lex and remains out of contact overnight. The narrator's journey into non-monogamy began nearly a decade earlier in Los Angeles after meeting someone who introduced them to philosophies of multiple relationships and abundant love. Initially drawn to books exploring ethical non-monogamy, the narrator felt monogamy was restrictive and performative. However, this experience reveals the gap between theoretical acceptance and emotional reality when actually navigating jealousy within an open relationship.
#ethical-non-monogamy #jealousy-and-insecurity #open-relationships #emotional-vulnerability #relationship-dynamics
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