I'm Grateful That My Wife Is Trying More In Bed. But I Am Repulsed By How She's Doing It.
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I'm Grateful That My Wife Is Trying More In Bed. But I Am Repulsed By How She's Doing It.
"Just for background, she's never had an orgasm through penetrative, manual, or oral sex, though she regularly has one with oral sex and a vibrator and dirty talk. Our problem is sort of unrelated and actually my fault. In the past, my orgasm was always triggered by my partner's, and without her orgasm, I sometimes take a long time or don't finish at all, and she'll get tired and say things like, "Come on, bring it on home!""
"Firstly, I think you need to assess whether or not intercourse should be your go-to sexual practice. Your wife could pretty much take it or leave it, and if she's not coming, you're not coming (at least for a while) so ... is anyone actually having fun? Sure, it's possible: A sex act's worth isn't measured in whether or not it provides an orgasm-some things are fun for fun's sake and that's great."
A couple faces mismatched orgasm patterns: the wife reliably orgasms with oral, a vibrator, and dirty talk but not with penetration, while the husband usually orgasms only after his partner does. The husband's request for performative noises created awkwardness and pressure. The recommended approach is to reassess intercourse as the default and prioritize practices that bring the wife's orgasm. Suggested strategies include focusing on oral and vibrator use, incorporating dirty talk, and using mutual or solo masturbation to reduce pressure and increase pleasure for both partners.
Read at Slate Magazine
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