"Asking if she has anything to tell you is one way, though that's a leading question that telegraphs suspicion, which may in turn put your wife on the defensive. That's not the most comfortable place to be when revealing intimate details of one's life. Instead, you may want to nudge her by saying something like, "You have a lot of fun with [your third's name], huh?" Or, "You really like her, huh?""
"She may just be relishing the novelty of a new person in your bed. As good as your sex life may be, it can be really exciting to hook up with someone new, and newness is one thing that you cannot provide by definition as her long-term partner. Also, you leap to wondering if she's a lesbian, but why? Couldn't your wife be bisexual? Or are you saying that the pull from his woman is intense to the point of ignoring you?"
A partner cannot be forced to disclose sexual orientation, but a spouse can create a safer space for disclosure by signaling openness. Directly asking "anything to tell me?" can feel accusatory and push a partner onto the defensive. Using gentle prompts that acknowledge observed feelings or behavior can invite honest conversation. Attraction to a third person can stem from novelty, bisexuality, polyamorous feelings, jealousy, or genuine love for more than one person. Consider multiple explanations before concluding a permanent identity change, and prioritize compassionate, curious communication over accusation.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]