"I think everybody expects your sex life to take a hit when you have kids, but I was surprised by how much mine did. It wasn't just that I was exhausted and touched-out each night; it was that I also felt like a shell of myself. I didn't feel sexy, I didn't feel like the woman I knew I was, I just didn't feel like me."
"When I came home, I told my husband how good it felt to be with my friends - who are all also moms with young kids - without any distractions. "I know a trip is a big thing to plan, but you guys should just get together like once a week or so," he said. I told him there was no way we could plan that; it would be way too much work."
"He made it sound so simple, and as I tried to think up reasons it wouldn't work, I realized he was right. I immediately texted our group, and we all decided that a Tuesday night would be best. There are seven of us, but sometimes it's only two or three of us that can show up. Some weeks our kids are all sick and nobody can hang, but the beauty is that we always know there's another Tuesday coming."
The mother of two experienced a steep decline in sexual desire, energy, and sense of self after having children. Exhaustion and feeling 'touched-out' each night left her unable to feel sexy or like herself. Her husband supported household and childcare and prioritized date nights, yet a sense of something missing remained. A weekend getaway with girlfriends proved profoundly restorative, restoring perspective and joy. Her husband encouraged a regular girls' night, and the group instituted a standing Tuesday evening. The weekly anchor allowed variable attendance, reduced planning burden, and consistently left her rejuvenated and excited each week.
Read at Scary Mommy
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