#household-division

#household-division

I can never be upset about anything. Anytime, and I mean ANYtime I bring up something that upsets me, it gets turned around into how whatever she did that upset me is my fault. I end up fuming, but then ultimately apologize so that I can keep some semblance of peace. I'm not respected. I'm not desired. For a significant portion of the year when she coaches, I'm invisible. I try to express what I need physically, and it's usually ignored. Need I go on?

One of the most infuriating things a partner can say to their wife is, "But you didn't tell me to do it!" There's just so much to unpack there - why is mom usually the one in charge of delegating tasks? Why are they the default managers of the household? And why can't dads take some initiative and figure out what needs to get done in the family sphere?

When our child was born, we went from fairly evenly split chores to me doing most of them. I had FMLA and my husband "Josh" didn't, daycare always called me instead of him, and then it became a habit. It left me miserable and cranky, at home and at work. This past summer, we sat down and talked it out. It wasn't fun, but we agreed to try to rebalance the work.