#narcissistic-abuse

#narcissistic-abuse

One persistent and damaging myth about narcissistic relationships is the idea that only the naïve, dependent, or psychologically injured get pulled into them. This belief not only misrepresents reality, but it also actively strengthens survivors' shame and self-blame. In truth, strategies like gaslighting don't work despite strength. Gaslighting works because of the strengths in the victim. Empathy, self-reflection, openness, and relational responsibility are all core traits essential for developing intimacy and a meaningful, purpose-driven life. And these traits are precisely what narcissistic dynamics exploit.

Hoovering isn't about genuine love or reconnection. It's a manipulation tactic used by narcissists or emotionally abusive partners to regain control once they sense you're leaving or have moved on. This behavior can happen days, months, or even years after the breakup. It often starts when the narcissist feels lonely or threatened, or isn't getting any "narcissistic supply" or attention from their usual sources. The Psychology Behind Hoovering Narcissists seek control and power over you. When you go no-contact or start to rebuild a life separate from them, it challenges the narcissist's fragile self-esteem.

One of the most disorienting and heart-wrenching experiences many have gone through in the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship is seeing how quickly they replace you and move on to a new relationship. More often than not, the replacement is already waiting in the sidelines where the new relationship overlaps with the current one they are trying to leave. This is known as "grooming" the new supply for external validation, ego stabilization, and control.

Admittedly, the advice to be grateful is often good-studies link gratitude to a broad range of positive effects on mental health, well-being, and more. For instance, market research reveals that businesses that prime their messaging with gratitude can move people away from entitled and materialistic attitudes (Lee & Namkoong, 2022). New research also shows that prayers of thanksgiving-rather than prayers of requests-are associated with higher psychological well-being (Fukuromoto & Abe, 2025).