Dear James: I'm a Textbook People Pleaser
Briefly

Many individuals struggle with identity and self-worth, often living to meet others' expectations rather than their own. A fear of dislikability can manifest as clinginess or distance, resulting in unfulfilling relationships. Life-changing events can catalyze the realization of living on autopilot, leaving people questioning their true desires and identities. While the act of pleasing others can be criticized, it is acknowledged that being considerate and having good manners can create a sense of comfort in social interactions. It's crucial to find a balance between pleasing others and being authentic to oneself.
The fear of being disliked can lead to unlikable behaviors such as clinginess and distance, which in turn can destroy friendships and relationships.
Many people go through life on autopilot, fulfilling expectations rather than discovering their true selves, resulting in an identity crisis.
While pleasing others can be seen negatively, there is a personal preference for being around those who are considerate and have good manners.
Balancing the act of pleasing others with personal authenticity is essential to forming meaningful connections and understanding one's true self.
Read at The Atlantic
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