Four Signs That Indicate a Group Is Harmful

"First, you discover that the people in the group have been talking negatively about you behind your back. Hurt and confused, you wrack your brain for anything that you may have done to upset somebody, but nothing comes to mind. You always strive to be kind and respectful to everyone with whom you spend time. Second, the people in the group who were once friendly and warm are cold and curt."

"Alternatively, in healthy groups, issues are dealt with directly and resolved quickly. Back-handed conversations that target one person in the group are rare. Moreover, a person's actions and words are not twisted and skewed behind their back to vilify them. In a safe group, if a person makes a mistake, the group may hold them accountable, but then they are forgiven, and people move forward positively. Typically, everyone learns from it."

Groups can turn toxic quickly in settings such as a child's sports team, a cul-de-sac, or a workplace team. Four indicators of a harmful group are secret negative talk, abrupt coldness, exclusion from gatherings, and betrayal of confidences that sparks group anger. Harmful groups bad-mouth, dismiss, exclude, and betray members. Healthy groups deal with difficulties directly, avoid back-handed conversations, refrain from twisting words, hold people accountable when appropriate, forgive after resolution, and move forward positively so members learn and relationships repair.

Read at Psychology Today