When I visited flourishing groups, I noticed that being with them felt different. They possessed a vibrancy, a switched-on responsiveness that showed up in their bodies. Their posture, in general, was relaxed; their heads were up and their interactions were fluid. Aliveness was the word I kept writing in my notebook: a feeling of being carried along in a river of energy that was headed somewhere good.
It's not just the holiday season. We live with this tension every day. The pull toward solitude versus the longing to belong is not a simple dichotomy but something that requires constant reflection and recalibration. For me, it is one of the central challenges of being human. When I say "group," I mean more than casual socializing. I include much of our outer world: family, school, work, groups formed by hobbies or shared interests (bandmates, pickleball team, neighborhood boards, volunteer organization, and more).
You ("Participant") acknowledge that, despite all social-media posts to the contrary, embarking on a Midlife Girls' Trip holds many risks, just some of which are outlined below. By signing this waiver, you accept that going on this outing is voluntary, even if your group chat made it not feel that way. You also agree that, though you don't like the term "Girls' Trip" (or Megan's suggestion of "Lady Vacation"), you're going to have to decide if that's the metaphorical hill you want to die on.*
Essentialism is the belief that members of a category share an inherent and immutable essence or core that distinguishes them from non-members (Gelman, 2003). Most people, for example, believe that living things are fundamentally different from non-living things.
In a recent study published in the journal Memory & Cognition, researchers asked participants to brainstorm new ways to use one of two common objects-a shield or an umbrella-either with or without internet access. In some trials, study participants could access Google search; in other trials, they couldn't use a search engine. Of the groups, those with access to Google, for the most part, came up with the same common answers, often in the same exact order.
Humorist Dave Barry once remarked, "If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings." Most people have experienced team meetings where nobody seems to be on the same page.
