If these 7 scenarios trigger you more than they should, you likely had a parent who loved you conditionally - Silicon Canals

"Growing up, I used to dread bringing home my report cards. Not because my grades were bad, but because anything less than perfect meant I'd see that familiar look of disappointment flash across my mother's face before she quickly rearranged it into something more neutral. "That's okay, sweetheart," she'd say, but her tone told a different story. If you find yourself overreacting to certain everyday situations, constantly seeking approval, or feeling like you're never quite good enough,"

"Your boss suggests a minor revision to your presentation, and suddenly you're questioning your entire career path. A colleague points out a typo in your email, and you're convinced everyone thinks you're incompetent. Sound familiar? When love was tied to performance in childhood, criticism doesn't just feel like feedback about your work. It feels like a verdict on your worth as a person. You learned early that mistakes meant withdrawal of affection, so now every critique triggers that old fear of abandonment."

"criticism doesn't just feel like feedback about your work. It feels like a verdict on your worth as a person. You learned early that mistakes meant withdrawal of affection, so now every critique triggers that old fear of abandonment. I remember spending an entire weekend rewriting a three-paragraph email because someone said it was "a bit unclear." The criticism was valid and constructive, but my brain translated it into "you're not good enough." That's the echo of conditional love talking."

Conditional love ties affection to achievement, teaching children that mistakes withdraw care. Early parental disappointment makes criticism feel like a personal verdict rather than constructive feedback. Adults raised this way often overreact to minor critiques, spiraling into self-doubt, replaying fears of abandonment, and scrambling to fix perceived failures. Small signals of disappointment trigger panic and efforts to regain approval. Work examples include obsessing over minor revisions or typos and translating reasonable feedback into "you're not good enough." These ingrained patterns persist into adulthood and influence relationships, self-worth, and responses to everyday feedback.

Read at Silicon Canals