People Say These Things To Try To Be Comforting. But They're Actually Pretty Rude.

"Because we've heard phrases like "You got this" or "There's more fish in the sea," we assume we're offering comfort, support or wisdom. But while well-intentioned, these lines often backfire, leaving the listener feeling dismissed or invalidated. The times we feel most supported are usually when we hear personalized words of encouragement and soothing ― not something we could find on a Pinterest board."

""When one door closes, another opens." "God/fate/the universe has a plan." "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Or giving an example of when you went through something similar, or worse. "While well-intentioned, these statements bypass emotion rather than acknowledge it," said Erica Schwartzberg, a licensed master social worker. "They communicate distance instead of connection. The listener may feel dismissed, unseen, or even ashamed for having feelings that don't fit the 'positive' narrative.""

Well-intentioned comforting clichés like "Just be positive," "It could be worse," and "Everything happens for a reason" often invalidate and dismiss people’s emotions. Such phrases bypass emotional acknowledgment and communicate distance rather than connection, increasing feelings of shame or being unseen. Comfort only lands when safety and empathy are present; urging positivity can feel like pressure and can amplify stress and self-criticism. Personal anecdotes of worse experiences can also backfire. Personalized words of encouragement, soothing, and specific empathy provide more genuine support and help people feel understood and held.

Read at HuffPost