Why Fierce Self-Esteem Can Backfire on Us
Briefly

Why Fierce Self-Esteem Can Backfire on Us
"There are certainly many side effects of not having a strong self-esteem. We may speak up less at work or in a relationship. We may too easily compromise on our values or authentic wants. We may default into people-pleasing modalities because we feel that we do not have much to offer or add to a thought or conversations. In short, we may suffer from a deflated ego or sense of self."
"The trouble arises not in good-enough ego strength, but when we may develop a notion of ourselves that is fixed, rigid, and immutable. Freud has a powerful statement to this effect: "Whatever you say you are, you are not." The point here is that often our notion of self or our identity (so prized in modern Western culture) obscures broader parts of ourselves, and can be a defence against these "less desired" parts."
Low self-concept or low self-esteem leads to reduced assertiveness, people-pleasing, and compromised values, limiting participation at work and in relationships. Therapeutic work can correct outdated self-perceptions, rebuild ego strength, and enable accurate self-appraisal that supports real-world actions like asking for raises, demanding equitable relationships, and accepting parental adequacy. A different problem arises when identity becomes fixed and rigid. A rigid self-view hides broader aspects of self, defends against less-desired traits, and prevents natural evolution. Preserving a single self-image can become defensive or aggressive in social contexts and block the development of less dominant qualities.
Read at Psychology Today
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