Why Perfectionists Tend to Fear Success

"Perfectionism is closely linked to self-defeating behavior. Here, self-defeating is defined as any act that conflicts with and diminishes the possibility of fulfilling one's goals, even if that individual continues to believe they're serving them. As a cognitive framework (i.e., an understanding of how something in the world works), perfectionism is extremely rigid; one strongly believes they know what does and doesn't foster success (or goodness, in the case of moral perfectionism). Thus, grasping at it often feels much easier than holding on to it."

"Perfectionism is most often a response to one's core sense of badness, a mechanism for overcoming it. On the one hand, the hope of someday being morally good or successful (some even strive for both) sustains the perfectionist; on the other, their definition, strictly defined, plagues them with debilitating self-doubt. The question of "Do I deserve this?" frequently crops up."

"Challenging this way of being is difficult because of three fundamental realities: 1. The perfectionist's sense of badness. 2. Their conviction that success should always and only entail particular qualities (i.e., perfection). 3. The black and white belief that people are either worthy or unworthy. Therefore, with this foundation in place, whatever success that does come their way is often minimized, and pursuits may be abandoned altogether."

Perfectionism often functions as a self-defeating pattern that undermines the pursuit and fulfillment of personal goals. Perfectionism operates as a rigid cognitive framework that prescribes exacting criteria for success or moral goodness. A core sense of personal badness commonly drives the perfectionist to strive for flawless achievement as a corrective. Hope for eventual moral goodness or success temporarily sustains effort while strict standards generate persistent self-doubt. Questions like "Do I deserve this?" arise, and confirming evidence is frequently minimized because of fear of accepting undeserved rewards. Three interlocking realities—deep unworthiness, narrow definitions of success, and black-and-white worthiness beliefs—lead to minimizing successes and abandoning pursuits.

Read at Psychology Today