"Your husband did a pretty terrible thing. First, remind him that your mom's making a choice to not wear deodorant. It's an odd, kinda gross one, but it's her choice. Unless your mom is putting your husband in a headlock every time she visits, he has to learn to deal with it. But one way he can't deal with it is to use your 3-year-old child as an insult shield. That's just bad parenting-bad adulting, really."
"My husband "Grant" has forever complained about my mom's body odor, as she doesn't believe in wearing deodorant. Well, he decided to enlist our 3-year-old son "Dylan" to play a mean prank on my mother. My mother came over last weekend, and when she went to give our son a hug, he said loudly, "Grammy, you smell like butt!" My mother was so upset she left, and Grant was laughing so hard I thought he would piss himself."
A husband enlisted his three-year-old to insult the grandmother about her choice not to wear deodorant, causing her to leave upset while he laughed. Using a child to humiliate an adult models disrespectful behavior and teaches the child that mocking family members is acceptable. Adults must tolerate others' personal choices or address concerns privately rather than weaponizing children. Expect a direct apology from the husband to repair the relationship and instruct the child that mocking is unacceptable. Set boundaries to prevent involving children in adult conflicts and explain appropriate ways to handle discomfort with someone's hygiene without humiliating them.
Read at Slate Magazine
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