"Shut up and Listen!" A Message to Parents
Briefly

"Shut up and Listen!" A Message to Parents
"If you're the parent of a Gen Z child, you've probably heard it: "You don't get it." Or maybe you've been met with avoidance, eye rolls, or a look of contempt. Many parents I work with feel frustrated and shut out, longing to connect but unsure how to get through a prickly wall. The more they push, cajole, guilt, and criticize, the more disconnection results. Here's the hard truth: Often the best way to build that bridge is to talk less-and listen more."
"We parents have more emotions than we care to admit. Shame in particular is an insidious and profound emotion that tells us, "You've failed," or "You're a bad parent." This can be so painful that parents either shut down or lash out. When our adult child gripes about our values, our politics, or how we made serious mistakes that wounded them, many parents feel a wave of shame that quickly turns into defensive anger."
Gen Z children often respond to parents with distance, eye rolls, or statements like "You don't get it," which can trigger parental defensiveness. Parental emotions—sadness, disappointment, anxiety, shame, guilt, and anger—commonly interfere with hearing children and increase disconnection when parents push, guilt, or criticize. Pausing, breathing, and listening with genuine curiosity creates safety and invites sharing. Shame frequently leads to shutting down or lashing out, especially when adult children confront past wounds. Learning to name and regulate emotions models emotional health and helps parents rebuild bridges with their children through quieter, more attentive presence.
Read at Psychology Today
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