How Do You Handle Failure at Work?

"When faced with failure, do you tend to react with anger or hurt? Do you get defensive, deny a role in what happened, or perhaps deny that failure even occurred? Do you slant information to avoid looking guilty, or come up with a laundry list of reasons for the failure that were outside of your control? Perhaps you try being nice with the hopes that others will overlook the failure or point their fingers elsewhere."

"Do you tend to blame others when things don't go as planned? If that isn't feasible, do you blame the person or group who assigned you the responsibility? Do you frequently expect failure to occur, and feel as though you will be unfairly blamed? Perhaps you appear to overreact when failure happens, and when others offer advice, it feels like criticism."

"Are you your own worst critic, and perhaps take on more blame than is warranted? Do you frequently worry about being blamed, and perhaps let that worry slow down your progress? Perhaps because you tend to be so hard on yourself, others avoid criticizing you and sometimes try to talk you out of being so self-blaming. Or, perhaps others see you as an easy scapegoat."

Failure is inevitable, and individuals respond in three primary styles: impunitive, extrapunitive, and intropunitive. The impunitive style manifests as anger, denial, defensiveness, slanting information, or appeasement to avoid responsibility. The extrapunitive style shows up as blaming others, blaming the assigner, expecting unfair blame, overreacting, and treating advice as criticism. The intropunitive style involves excessive self-blame, worry that slows progress, and becoming an easy scapegoat because others avoid criticizing. Each style carries interpersonal and professional costs, so pausing before reacting and adopting a solution-focused response reduces harm and improves outcomes.

Read at Psychology Today