Growing up as the child who never caused problems didn't mean I had no problems. It meant I understood very early that mine weren't going to be the ones that got attention - Silicon Canals

"A 2019 study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that parentification and emotional suppression in "low-problem" siblings were significantly correlated with anxiety and depressive symptoms in adulthood. The easy child isn't easy because they have fewer needs. They're easy because they've already begun the work of compressing those needs into a shape small enough to be invisible."

"Families are ecosystems. When one member absorbs a disproportionate amount of emotional oxygen (through illness, addiction, behavioral struggles, or simply a louder temperament), the remaining members adapt. Children are especially plastic in this regard. Teachers praise them. Relatives call them "mature for their age." Parents exhale around them. And every bit of that positive feedback reinforces the same lesson: your value is in your lack of burden."

Children who remain quiet while siblings receive parental attention develop adaptive behaviors that suppress their own needs, learning early that their value lies in being undemanding. This dynamic, occurring in families where one member requires disproportionate emotional resources, creates what appears to be an "easy child" but actually represents emotional suppression. Research shows parentification and emotional suppression in low-problem siblings correlate significantly with anxiety and depressive symptoms in adulthood. Positive reinforcement from teachers and relatives for being "mature" further reinforces the belief that self-sacrifice equals worth. Psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson identifies this as "emotional neglect by omission," a subtle but consequential form of childhood experience that shapes personality development and mental health outcomes.

Read at Silicon Canals