A couple faced disconnection and challenges in their marriage but stayed together due to a pact not to divorce after having children. Initially, they struggled with communication and intimacy, resembling roommates rather than partners. Despite many hardships, including resentment and coexisting without fighting, they persevered. The commitment made early in their marriage, born from experiences in divorced families, drove them to avoid repeating painful patterns. After nearly three decades, they now appreciate the deeper love that developed through their struggles and endurance together.
We were going through the motions, parenting well but partnering poorly. The space between us got wider, and eventually, we lived like roommates instead of husband and wife.
Years before we found ourselves on that therapy couch, we both agreed that if we became parents, we wouldn't get divorced. That quiet damage shapes you. You learn to keep score. You learn not to expect peace.
Sometimes we were resentful. Many times we were mean to one another. Most of the time, we were just numb. There was a two-year stretch where we were simply coexisting.
Nearly 30 years later, I'm grateful we stayed because our love now is deeper and hard-earned.
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