"My husband has developed a new kink. What's become annoying is that for the past month, he has required sex to start with this new move. He likes to hide in our closet and watch me masturbate. Then, when I'm close to coming, he will join me. The trouble is that ever since it began, he's been better in bed than ever, while at the same time, I'd just like to have some normalcy again."
"This extended foreplay is annoying and a break from normalcy for you. But what else? What is the issue here that makes this not worth the trade-off of your husband's best sexual performance to date? Do you feel pressured to perform, literally putting on a show to get your husband going? Do you prefer to masturbate privately? Is the amuse-bouche less than amusing to you? Would you like more spontaneity?"
A spouse has adopted a voyeuristic kink of hiding to watch their partner masturbate before joining in, producing better sexual performance but causing discomfort. The partner feels the extended foreplay is annoying and misses a sense of normalcy. The core task is to identify what specifically makes the practice problematic: pressure to perform, loss of privacy, reduced spontaneity, or simply dislike of the act. Declining is valid—no is a complete sentence—and people can change their minds. A respectful partner will honor boundaries. Discuss specific dislikes, negotiate alternatives or compromises, and prioritize consent and communication.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]