"Now she's feeling optimistic about her reconstruction and new breasts, and we've slowly started getting back into things. I feel horrible, but her breasts don't feel the same anymore, and it's really throwing me off during sex. Everything feels off in turn, and then I guilt myself for even caring about something as unimportant as a change in her body, after everything we've been through. How do I move past this and give her the enthusiasm she so deserves?"
"I am willing to take him at his word, but I do want to present an alternate interpretation of what's going on: I wonder if the distance, the cancer, and the hardship of it all are really what is at the root here. The breasts might just kind of a proxy for what's really happening, which is you just went through something extremely difficult, and it's hard to get back on track afterward."
A partner recovered from breast reconstruction after cancer feels optimistic and the couple has begun resuming sexual intimacy. The other partner experiences difficulty because the reconstructed breasts do not feel the same, prompting guilt about caring. The altered body can serve as a tangible reminder of the illness and related hardship, complicating desire and connection. The core problem may be emotional distance and unresolved trauma rather than the physical change itself. Reconnection requires acknowledging grief, patient communication, emotional support, and possibly counseling to work through fear, distance, and reshaped intimacy expectations.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]