"A pre mortem involves identifying and correcting what is likely to make the relationship fail. It's a more accessible way for clients to apprehend and alter the long-term effects of their behavior. The version of premortem I use to correct relationship trajectories before they crash and burn is a combination of inverse thinking and psychologist Kurt Lewin's famous three-step model of change."
""If I were coercive or abusive, if I made her feel afraid or feel bad about herself, that would be the nail in the coffin." Me: What would come before that? "If I held her in contempt. Because I saw her as intellectually or morally inferior." Me: Before that? "If I resented her." Me: Before that? "If I stonewalled her-dismissed her point of view, refused to accept feedback.""
A postmortem determines why something failed, often conducted after premature treatment dropout. A premortem identifies and corrects behaviors likely to make a relationship fail. The premortem combines inverse thinking with Kurt Lewin's three-step model of change to redirect relationship trajectories before collapse. The exercise is given as homework for clients to trace backward from a hypothetical relationship failure to earliest risk behaviors. Typical risk behaviors include coercion, abuse, contempt, resentment, and stonewalling. Changing those early behaviors can alter partner reactions and increase chances of long-term relationship success.
Read at Psychology Today
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