I've spent my whole life being told I'm "too intense" for casual conversation and I've finally realized the problem isn't that I can't do small talk - it's that small talk feels like agreeing to pretend we're not both thinking about something more interesting - Silicon Canals
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I've spent my whole life being told I'm "too intense" for casual conversation and I've finally realized the problem isn't that I can't do small talk - it's that small talk feels like agreeing to pretend we're not both thinking about something more interesting - Silicon Canals
"I've watched people's eyes glaze over when I accidentally steered a conversation somewhere real. I've felt the subtle social punishment of being the person who doesn't know how to keep things casual."
"Small talk serves a legitimate social function. It's a scanning protocol - a low-stakes way for two people to assess each other before deciding whether to go deeper."
"I've finally stopped trying to fix it. Not because I've given up on social interaction. Because I've realised the problem was never that I can't do small talk."
Small talk is often viewed as a necessary social skill, but it can feel superficial and unfulfilling for some individuals. Many people engage in small talk to establish safety and assess each other before delving into deeper conversations. However, for those who prefer meaningful interactions, small talk can feel like a waste of time. The realization that small talk is a ritual for comfort rather than genuine connection can lead to a shift in perspective, allowing individuals to embrace their preference for more substantial dialogue.
Read at Silicon Canals
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