"Whether the teen is challenging the parents' authority, doing poorly in school, or experimenting with substances, teenagers can make parents want to pull their hair out. It often feels that the efforts we make to help our kids prepare for their futures are often met with arguments, hostility and/or lack of interest. This can be remarkably frustrating and can cause us to get upset and sometimes lose our tempers. What we may not realize is that teenagers often are just posturing their defiance. They are unsure and uncertain about themselves and their futures."
"The problem parents face is that they have feelings, too! When their teen is ungrateful, argumentative and just plain unpleasant, it can really irritate parents who feel they are trying their best to help their child. When parents react to their teen's bad behavior by getting emotionally caught and reactive themselves, then things start to go downhill fast. When parents lose control and become angry, they may say and do things that they wouldn't do if they were in control of their emotions."
Teenagers commonly test family boundaries as part of normal development. Teens often posture defiance while feeling unsure about their identities and futures. Parental efforts to prepare teens for adulthood can meet hostility, arguments, or lack of interest. Parents have strong emotional reactions that can lead to losing perspective and control. Reacting angrily can produce statements or actions parents would avoid when calm and can frighten insecure teens. Maintaining consistent family rules and boundaries helps create safety and security for adolescents. Emotional regulation by parents reduces escalation and supports healthier parent-teen interactions during adolescence.
Read at Psychology Today
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