#emotion-regulation

#emotion-regulation

"That stage of life is all about figuring out who you are, which means emotions run high and identity can feel more fragile," said Kristin Anderson, licensed clinical social worker, founder of Madison Square Psychotherapy . "Because teens are still developing emotion regulation skills, small misunderstandings can escalate quickly in ways that are less common in adult relationships."

If you feel like there are times when your emotions quickly escalate and spin out of control, it may also feel like there's nothing you can do about it. Perhaps others have told you that you are "overreacting" to situations that typically do not evoke such intense feelings. But being told by others to "calm down" feels dismissive to you, and it invalidates your strong emotions.

It can certainly feel like emotions happen to you. That they bubble up and cause you to do and say things, but that experience is an illusion that the brain creates. Not everybody has as much control as they might like, but everybody has a little more control than they think they do. When you're experiencing emotion or you're in an emotional state, what your brain is doing is telling itself a story about what is going on inside your body.

I mean, the amazing thing about our circumstances that each one of us is in a position that is in some sense, as free and as profound and as in touch with reality, as any other position in this universe, where you stand, the universe is illuminated as you, as your experience in this moment. And that we call this substratum of experience, consciousness, for lack of a better word.