On my third date with my then-boyfriend (he's now my husband), we had sex. And like so many times before, I decided I'd fake an orgasm. But unlike so many times before, it didn't feel right. I dated a lot of men in my 20s, and faking an orgasm just felt easier and safer than telling them I had never had an orgasm with a partner before.
It's absolutely possible to be experiencing pelvic pain due to orgasm. Firstly, you live in your body full time, and you're present for every orgasm you have, so I'm inclined to trust the pattern you're seeing. Secondly, I've known more than one person who enjoys sex but actively avoids orgasms for the exact same reason as you.
My husband and I have a great sex life that I love. He gets me off consistently with his fingers on my clit, and my orgasms are body-shattering and euphoric. However, ever since I first had sex, I've always been a little surprised and disappointed by how little sensation I feel in my vaginal canal. I can feel a penis, fingers, and toys go in, but once they're in, it's sort of a vague sensation of fullness, and nice, but not much.
It's important to recognize that everyone's orgasms are different. And your orgasm can change from time to time based on mood, hormonal levels, the kind of stimulation you're using, who you're with, and even your own stress levels, says licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos. "For some, it's a short and intense experience, while for others, it's more like a calm and warm wave of pleasure that you ride for a long time."
