"Oh, no," lamented Sarah, "Is it going to happen again?" She was responding to the possibility that her partner, Joshua, would lose his temper once again, which was a frequent occurrence. She did not trust him, and the result was anxiety, leading to sleeplessness, worry, and irritability. Research reviewed by Tomlinson and Mayer (2009) supports the view that mistrust can be accompanied by anger and fear. Joshua's temper and Sarah's response of anxiety were affecting their relationship.
Something unpleasant happened to you. Since you don't want another bad thing on top of it, you must decide which is better: leaving the relationship or holding onto it. Your last question was leading enough to make me think that you do want to let this slide, giving Brian a temporary hetero sex pass and chalking it up to his intoxication. So that's probably what you should do.
Reset is the fifth and final step in the PACER model we developed, as described in our book Love. Crash. Rebuild.. It's the point at which couples recognize that the relationship they are stepping back into is not the same one that ruptured-because they themselves have changed. Reset marks the moment when new patterns begin to replace old ones and the couple can experience their relationship as something distinct, something shared, something more resilient than before.