"Not many people have heard the term "counter-dependence." It's not a term that is in common use. In fact, it's used mostly by mental health professionals. Counter-dependence is the extreme opposite of dependence. It refers to the fear of depending on other people. If you are counter-dependent, you will go to great lengths to avoid asking for help. You may have a great fear of feeling, or appearing to feel, in need. In fact, the word "needy" may set your teeth on edge."
"When James first came to see me for therapy, he was a successful 40-something businessman with a wife and three children. He had done very well financially, and his children were all young adults who would be leaving home soon. James came seeking help for his longstanding depression. He initially described his childhood as happy and free. But as he told me his story, it became evident that he had been greatly affected by the absence of a vital ingredient."
Counter-dependence is the fear of depending on others and involves intense avoidance of asking for help or appearing needy. The term is used mostly by mental health professionals and contrasts with dependence. Counter-dependence often results from childhood emotional neglect, when emotional needs were ignored. Emotional connection can feel unsafe for counter-dependent individuals, yet allowing others in is essential for healing and can increase strength. An illustrative case describes James, the youngest of seven born to older parents, who was largely self-raised, achieved financial success, yet sought therapy for longstanding depression tied to the absence of vital emotional nourishment.
Read at Psychology Today
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