People who never post on social media and don't constantly seek reassurance aren't detached - they may have learned how to sit with uncertainty without needing an audience - Silicon Canals

"Posting and waiting for responses can convert ambiguity into something measurable. Likes, replies, reactions, views, screen time. The unspoken question of whether you are doing okay, whether you are still liked, whether you are still relevant gets compressed into a number within minutes. For someone who finds uncertainty difficult to tolerate, the platform can become an immediate relief mechanism. For someone who can tolerate uncertainty, the platform may offer a service they simply do not need."

"The casual reading, especially from people who post often, is that these people are detached. Cold. Disengaged. Possibly lonely. But there is another way to read the behavior. Posting and waiting for responses can convert ambiguity into something measurable. Likes, replies, reactions, views, screen time."

"They scroll occasionally. They sometimes message a close friend. They will reply if directly tagged. But they do not post much. They do not announce. They do not curate the small triumphs and minor outrages of their week into a public feed. And after sharing a difficult thought in private, they almost never circle back to check whether everyone is still okay with them."

"Two specific traits from the psychology literature help explain why some people may not feel compelled to publish their inner life or keep asking the people around them for confirmation: lower intolerance of uncertainty and lower excessive reassurance seeking. These are not internet personality labels. They are well-studied psychological constructs with formal measurement behind them."

In 2024, fewer U.S. adults reported posting on major social media platforms while more reported only scrolling. Many low-posting users occasionally read, message close friends, and respond when directly tagged, but they rarely announce or curate their lives publicly. Some people interpret this as coldness or disengagement, yet another interpretation is that posting and waiting convert uncertainty into measurable feedback such as likes, replies, reactions, views, and screen time. For people who struggle with uncertainty, the platform can provide immediate relief. For people who tolerate uncertainty, the platform may offer little value. Psychological traits such as intolerance of uncertainty and excessive reassurance seeking help explain why some users do not publish inner thoughts or repeatedly seek confirmation.

Read at Silicon Canals