"He's a lot bigger than average. Not in the Guinness book of World Records, but definitely unusual. He told me early in dating that in college, he injured his girlfriend having sex the first time. They had to go to the ER. It sounded awful, and I'm so glad she's OK-it was the story of two kids who didn't know what they were doing, not a story of abuse."
"I think he should take up therapy for his relationship with dick if the trauma of hurting his ex has stayed with him and affected his sex life. Maybe through therapy, he could come to the understanding that he's not going to literally bust every vagina he enters. But this is merely one possibility. Another is that he might effectively be a side at this point-that is, someone who doesn't particularly enjoy or engage in penetration."
A woman is dating a man who is unusually large and revealed that in college he injured his girlfriend during their first sexual encounter, requiring an ER visit. He framed the incident as an accident between inexperienced partners but now avoids penetration entirely, preferring fingering, toys, and mutual oral. He believes months of stretching and practice are necessary to prevent harm. One recommended option is therapy focused on his relationship with his penis to address trauma and fear. Another possibility is that he identifies as a 'side' who prefers non-penetrative activities and does not enjoy penetration.
Read at Slate Magazine
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