"Coming out as trans can be painful, exciting, and quite a courageous process, rooted in deep self-discovery. Remember that they have not changed who they are, they are revealing themselves more fully to you and the world. They are also experiencing a world of emotions, possibly fear of rejection, loss of love, or misunderstanding. For you it may bring up a variety of different, complex and opposing emotions. You may experience surprise, grief, a deeper understanding, clarity, relief, fear, heartbreak, uncertainty for what the future holds."
"All of these emotions are completely valid. It is important to be able to grieve the changes even in the midst of supporting your partner. Both truths exist together. This is a space for both/and. You may experience deep sadness around the changes happening AND happiness to see your partner step into being more fully present. You may feel overwhelmed around the uncertainty for what the future holds AND excitement for a different kind of relationship."
When a partner comes out as trans or begins transitioning, a partner can feel a complex mix of emotions including surprise, grief, relief, fear, clarity, and uncertainty about the future. Those emotions are valid and can coexist alongside support and happiness for the partner's fuller self-expression. Grieving changes while remaining supportive is acceptable, and both truths can hold simultaneously. Physical or perceived changes in couple presentation can prompt questions about sexual identity and attraction, possibly prompting exploration of sexual fluidity and labels. Seeking safe spaces to explore these questions and processing emotions with compassion supports relationship adjustment.
Read at The Gottman Institute
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