Suffering is defined as the product of pain and resistance, with increased resistance compounding distress during challenging times. When faced with significant obstacles like divorce or illness, individuals often resist the reality of their situations, leading to heightened suffering. This can manifest as incessant negative thoughts and self-blame. It is suggested to adjust the equation of suffering to include self-compassion, indicating that recognizing our resistance and treating ourselves kindly can reduce overall suffering and facilitate healthier coping.
Suffering = pain x resistance. When we resist our resistance and beat ourselves up, we multiply our initial suffering, leading to even greater distress.
In extreme challenges, such as divorce or illness, we wish things were different, leading to rumination and worry. This compounding resistance increases suffering.
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