The responsibility of being the oldest child can be a lot

"There were times during my childhood when I remember being exhausted by the antics of my energetic, spontaneous younger sister and sensitive younger brother. With three kids, there was also almost always a two-against-one situation. I was either paired up with a kid who would do my bidding, or I was the enemy of the younger two, when my demands got to be too much."

"I was proud of my daughter for expressing how this pressure has made her feel. She was doing something I didn't do (or wasn't capable of) growing up as an oldest. I decided I wanted her to learn, use, and live these powerful words: "That's not my job." My daughter has implemented the words, and it's been helpful. To verbally say, in the presence of others, "That's not my job," brings awareness, recognition, and personal accountability."

Oldest children often take on leadership and caretaking roles and can feel heavy responsibility, pressure, and isolation when enforcing rules among siblings. Childhood experiences included exhaustion managing an energetic younger sister and a sensitive younger brother, plus frequent two-against-one dynamics that produced power and control issues. Parenting four children revealed repeating family patterns. Allowing respectful expression of feelings enabled a daughter to share her pressure. Teaching the oldest child the phrase "That's not my job" helped establish boundaries, increase awareness and recognition, and foster personal accountability, reducing burnout risk.

Read at Business Insider