"Being a people-pleaser may be more than a personality trait; it could be a response to serious trauma. Growing up in a home, school, and church that placed a lot of value on good behavior, self-discipline, and corporal punishment, I was a model child. I felt unsafe in my body at the slightest hint that someone was upset with me."
"Some of us are conditioned from a young age to develop a deep-seated fear of losing our sense of belonging and safety in our relationships. To cope with this fear, we develop strategies to safeguard ourselves, which, for some, turn into a habit of people-pleasing."
"There's one clear common denominator for people-pleasers - feeling beholden to others. You put your needs last and feel obligated to manage everyone else's happiness. You're hypersensitive to being judged, shamed, and rejected."
People-pleasers often develop their behavior as a response to childhood environments that prioritize good behavior and self-discipline. This conditioning leads to a fear of judgment and rejection, causing individuals to prioritize others' happiness over their own. They may feel anxious when faced with conflict and struggle to assert themselves. The need to please others becomes a coping mechanism to safeguard their sense of belonging and safety in relationships, resulting in a pattern of overextending themselves and neglecting their own needs.
Read at Tiny Buddha
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